The Day I nearly Became A Legit Viking

It happened.

My life calling. My dream. The number one item on my one item bucket list.

The ghost of 20 year old me spun in her office chair and roared a fitting roar – for the day had finally come.

Viking extras needed

If ever there were a more perfect candidate for this plea, it would be me surely? I am all the stereotypes mashed up together. I have the long hair. I look decidedly Nordic. I am a ‘Vikingly’ 6 feet tall and, last time I looked, definitely a female. Furthermore, since my enormous girl-crush on Lucy Lawless in the nineties, I had a feeling that one day I’d make an excellent She Warrior on the big screen just like her. I just had to bide my time.

Step aside Princess Xena, I thought to myself with fire in my belly. Make way for the Empress (age, I feel, rendered this title appropriate). She shall wear (fake) furs and brandish her sword whilst back-flipping (or walking, walking will do) through ancient villages of wood and wattle, acting up a storm and gaining a rabid fan base who will dedicate whole Cosplay costumes to her. She will be a hero…not one of them dastardly Vikings – a good one, an honourable one, who definitely doesn’t pillage and stuff – and  I lived the dream of 1990s me for a whole three seconds.

Then I read the rest of it.

Hi folks! Looking for long haired females for scenes coming very shortly.
The main requirements are:
HEIGHT 5 foot 5 to 5 foot 9 inches.
DRESS SIZE 8 to 10.

It may as well have said. ‘Definitely not you though Cora – there’s not enough fake fur in the world to cover that arse.’

So, that’s that then.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>